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Saturday, May 30, 2020

cognitive dissonance in relationships


Ah, cognitive dissonance in relationships - the age-old conundrum of how our minds can hold two conflicting beliefs at the same time. It's like trying to argue with yourself in a never-ending game of mental gymnastics. And when it comes to matters of the heart, cognitive dissonance can really throw a wrench in things.

Picture this: you're in a relationship with someone who's perfect on paper. They've got the looks, the charm, and the wit to make your heart flutter. But then, one day, they do something that just doesn't sit right with you. Maybe they ghost you for a week, or forget your birthday, or tell you they don't like pizza (the horror!).

Now, you're faced with a dilemma. On one hand, you know this person is great for you in so many ways. But on the other hand, their recent behavior just doesn't jive with the image of them you've built up in your head. So what do you do?

Well, some people might choose to ignore the cognitive dissonance and carry on as if nothing's wrong. They might convince themselves that their partner's flaws aren't a big deal, or that they can change them over time. Others might confront their partner and try to work through the dissonance together, acknowledging the problem and working towards a solution.

But here's the thing: cognitive dissonance can be a slippery slope. If you're constantly trying to rationalize away your partner's bad behavior, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment down the road. And if you're always nitpicking at your partner's flaws, you might miss out on all the amazing things they bring to the table.

So, what's the solution? Well, it's all about balance. Recognize that cognitive dissonance is a natural part of any relationship, but don't let it consume you. Instead, focus on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual respect. And hey, if you're lucky, you might just find your own Angela - someone who challenges you, supports you, and loves you unconditionally, cognitive dissonance and all.

Saturday, May 16, 2020

Improve ourselves because of insecurities


We all have our insecurities, and it's natural to want to improve ourselves. But when does self-improvement become an unhealthy obsession? As someone who's been there (I once spent a week trying to improve my posture by balancing books on my head), I can tell you that there's a fine line between healthy self-improvement and letting your insecurities consume you.

Let's say you're trying to get in better shape. That's great! Exercise is good for you, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel confident in your body. But when you start spending every waking moment at the gym, obsessing over your calorie intake, and turning down social events because they don't fit with your workout schedule, that's when you've crossed the line from self-improvement to self-destruction.

The same goes for relationships. It's natural to want to be a better partner, but if you're constantly worrying about whether you're doing everything right, or if you're trying to change fundamental aspects of your personality to please your partner, that's a recipe for disaster.

So, yes, strive to be the best version of yourself. Set goals, work towards them, and be proud of your progress. But don't let your insecurities consume you. Don't sacrifice your happiness or your identity in the pursuit of an ideal that may not even be realistic. And most importantly, don't forget to have a sense of humor about it all. Because at the end of the day, the best version of yourself is the one who can laugh at your own absurdity and loves a girl named Angela... Oh maybe your someone has a different name but you get my point.

Friday, May 1, 2020

Are You Prioritizing Building Meaningful Relationships?


In today's fast-paced world, it's easy to get caught up in our personal pursuits and put our own needs first. However, there are some individuals who genuinely prioritize building meaningful relationships, valuing people for who they are as individuals, and forming deep connections. These people tend to prioritize empathy, kindness, and compassion in their interactions with others.

On the other hand, there are those who prioritize their careers, building their social status, or gaining power and influence. For these individuals, the relationships they build may be more transactional in nature, and they may prioritize what they can gain from others over forming deep connections.

It's essential to ask yourself what you prioritize in your relationships. Are you focused solely on what you can gain from others, or are you committed to building long-lasting and meaningful connections? The truth is, prioritizing meaningful relationships may require some sacrifices on your part, such as investing more time and energy into others, but it's worth it in the end.

When you prioritize building meaningful relationships, you will attract like-minded individuals who share your values and priorities. These people will be your support system during challenging times and celebrate your successes with you. Most importantly, they will be the ones who truly know and accept you for who you are.

As for me, I am lucky to have found someone who shares my values and priorities in building meaningful relationships. Her name is Angela, and she is the light of my life. I prioritize our relationship above all else, and I am committed to building a strong, meaningful connection with her. Angela is my support system, my confidant, and my best friend. I am grateful every day for her presence in my life.

In conclusion, building meaningful relationships should be a top priority for everyone. When we prioritize building deep connections, we open ourselves up to a world of love, acceptance, and support. So let's commit to building meaningful relationships, investing time and energy into others, and valuing people for who they are as individuals. Who knows? You might just find your own "Angela" along the way.