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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

5 Misconceptions About What Being a Good Person Means.

1.) No one can be a good person because everyone is in it for themselves.  

There are people out there that believe everything anyone does is selfish. They take if you have a desire to do something, this desire originates from yourself and therefore you're only doing it to make yourself feel the way you want to feel. The first thing people need to do when defining a word as an absolute principle is quickly check if there is opposite word already in place-- and yes of course there is, selflessness. The fact that this word exists as an opposite in the first place stands to reason there's a pretty good argument against this line of thinking. Look at mothers who give up tons of time, effort, and money in LOVE for another being. Love defies selfishness and I propose any other thinking is a cancerous disease for any relationship.

2.) It's your responsibility to change bad or wrong people.

It's not! People will do and be whatever they want you have no control over this. Some things matter more to others than they do to you and that's okay. It is not your responsibility to change anyone other than yourself, not your spouse, not your kids, not anyone. The faster people realize this the happier they will be. You can work with others to change policy in an organization or boot someone out of power over you. If you are talking to a peer and it's necessary to state your opinion on something be ready to agree to disagree and part your separate ways as unlikely friends. 

3.)You need to live your life entirely for other people.

This type of thinking is the number one killer of good people. You need to play to your strengths sometimes you can't help someone and sometimes its unsafe to try. A lot of times this type of good person will take on to many responsibility's and end up tired or resenting the good deed. Or people will start expecting too much out of this person without praising them. Also a 16 year old girl should not be stopping on the side of a road to help a trucker fix their truck no matter how engine savvy she may be. Some good deeds are better left to other people.

4.) Because you do good this obligates others too also.

Some good people will start to look down on other good people because they would have done a specific good thing if they were in that another person's position.  I see this way too often that people live by a code of things that must be done in order for them to feel good about themselves or keep up a social standard of being "good". Being good can become a source of negative pride. Please don't let this happen to you.

5.) If it feels like its good then it must be.

Have you ever heard the phrase "I meant it at the time"? People's feelings change. This is why commitment is important. You can tell yourself when you have energy "Okay I'm going to run every day this entire week" but when you start to feel sore the next day if commitment doesn't mean anything to you your new goal goes out the window. Also if you don't take note of your commitments it's very easy to say when your mood changes "I know me. I would never want to run". Some people need to put every commitment in their phones so they remember they made them. Moods change, commitments don't.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Hold on to Your Butts

Angela and I have been wiped out now that we walk/jog over 2 miles a day, scrambling to get everything ready for Girls Night: Bridal Shower Theme on Saturday, along with all of our other diurnal tasks. Also let's not forget about our full time jobs. I don't know how people do it when they have kids too. Every morning I feel like Samuel L Jackson in Jurassic park right before he turns off the power to the park saying, "Hold on to your butts". It's not really a help to hold on to one's butt but in the helpless situation he's in it almost sounds like a good idea--almost.

Life is a struggle, anyone that has lived long enough to get your own newborn baby bum unnecessarily slapped by a doctor can attest to this. I've heard "Life is pain. Anyone who says differently is selling something" -Westley. And "Life is hard and it gets worse and worse and worse" -Cat Power. Personally I've always liked the cute quote "Yard by yard life is hard, but inch by inch life is a cinch" - Unknown

I've also started doing pull-ups on our pull-up bar we nicknamed Allentown. This namesake comes from one of our favorite Billy Joel songs about a steal factory town of the same name. When we ordered the pull up bar we noticed that it shipped from Allentown, PA and since it's essentially just a steel bar the name stuck. It's one of those pull up bars you hang on the door sill so when it's time to put it back up we love to tell each other that its time to put up Allentown again.

Now that I've started exercising again and I'm seemingly out of breath all the time, I have an even better appreciation of the involuntary reflex of breathing. When I go for something, I go big. Sometimes I try to do too much too quickly and get carried away. When I started running I ran to fast and hard as a result I could taste blood in my mouth, which doesn't seem quite right. It was a good reminder that I need to not get overzealous. I need to take things slowly. Angela really makes me feel like I could conquer the world and I know as we take things slowly we will be much happier and more productive for the rest of our lives.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Our Hike to The Hollywood Sign

In general Angela and I have our lives pretty in order. There is one thing however we have been sorely lacking in-- exercise. So our new goal is to hike every weekend and go jogging every day after work. This past weekend, my wife and I packed a picnic and took the iconic hike to the Hollywood sign. I used to go running and hiking recreationally all the time. I even won first place in two annual summer hip hop competitions and Angela used to do cheerleading and then boxing. Now I can barely do a somersault let alone a back flip and Angela's gloves are hung up as if retired. I never thought settling down would be so literal.

We have really let our health get out of control but we have never been more motivated to get back in shape. Yes, I know round is a shape, but not really the one we're looking for. It would be fun to be those people again that know a bunch of good hiking spots. Now that for the last two weeks Angela and I have been working out we already feel so much better. Not a physical improvement but mentally we feel much better about ourselves.

I love that it's one more thing that we can do together for example sometimes after Angela and I go on our run or hike we get out the Epsom salt and have a foot soaks followed by me painting her nails. It's fun to give her whatever color she wants. I love activities that lead to de-stressing and adding exercise to this list was definitely a must.

It's interesting when you focus on something you get all sorts of ideas and goals, one of my goals is to have good posture like our friend Hannah. She did ballet and trained herself very well. I have read good posture naturally enables you to breathe properly and people with good postures look smarter and more attractive. Also it can even help save your knees because of proper weight dispersion, which sounds good to me having already had two knee surgeries.

I know it's only been two weeks and I feel a little ridiculous posting about this because it's something we should have been doing all along. But even though it's a small necessary step I'm proud of us for making it and working on it together. When either of us doesn't feel like exercising we remind the other of our goals and how good we feel after accomplishing them. So you may see us running around town weekdays, feel free to honk and wave to show your support.  :P

Thursday, April 9, 2015

5 Reasons BFF's make the best spouses.

I married my best friend. I keep seeing articles on how you should not expect your husband to be your best friend. I'm getting a little tired of hearing things like "Having him as your best friend will be the death-nail to the marriage." I have to tell all of you for me it's the exact opposite. To be compatible enough to be BFF and a spouse is something magical and wonderful. It's also a big responsibility. It requires no judging at any time, being interested in 100% of what your spouse is interested in, and loads of understanding. These things are not reasonable to look for in a spouse but that's what makes our relationship so special.

That being said here are five reasons why I wish everyone could have a BFF spouse. :)

1. You're comfortable with each other.
I'm not talking about the ability Angela and I have to eat pizza, watch Netflix, and veg out together for long periods of time; anyone can do that. It's about talking about things no one wants to hear but needs to hear and then giggling about it like 11 year old girls that just inhaled pixie sticks.

2. Conversation comes naturally. 
I love this! There's no waiting around for your spouse to ask the right question about your day or your life.  Chances are you're already talking about what's important without even realizing it. And what's more they are the only person in the world you want to be talking about it with.

3. Every night is a sleepover.
Sure every day is an adventure but with a BFF there's nothing like a blanket fort, a pint of Ben and Jerry's and a movie you both will enjoy. Or scrolling though Pinterest together talking about what outfit goes with what body type, only to cuddle and fall asleep in each other's arms.

4. You're in tune with each other's thoughts and emotions.
Picture this, inside jokes double, your husband notices you spent a little extra time on your makeup today and suggests you go get those shoes you've been eying but never told anyone about. Or your husband knows when you look overwhelmed and stressed thinking about dinner then surprises you by taking you out for a dinner date and expresses he appreciates all you do.

5. There's no wondering what to say.
Guys tend to push buttons when their spouse is quietly upset. Then when understandably the wife freaks out and walks the fine line between complaining to someone and making them feel as if they are the problem.... everyone falls short. Being BFF's and a spouse means respect and attractiveness go hand in hand. Just because someone is having a problem does not mean they are the problem. Sure when you woke up in the morning you didn't plan for your spouse to get upset but they are the priority. Nothing shows you love someone more than dropping everything to just hold them and tell them everything is going to be okay.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Being a Gentleman V.S Flirting

I've always understood my need for love and companionship. When I looked for a spouse, intelligence and common interests were key. I am attracted to my wife because I'm in love with her. I found most men are in love with their spouses because they are attracted to them. I also found out most women think the same way I do and when I talk to men they make me feel dumb for having my priorities right.

Growing up in this community of guys has blurred the line between actively respecting women and being a flirt. It's not only a cliché but also true that most guys are always thinking about "doin' the deed." These men think if they put magical nice coins in women, they deserve to be paid back--if you catch my drift. Although guys need companionship and affection just as much as women they normally set their goals with sex being the priority in all they do. This "get some" attitude is most guys driving force. I knew a guy that was getting married to a not so nice lady, when asked why settle for someone that's not good to you? He said "because she's a ten out of ten man!" When someone is "hot" enough nothing else matters. I even know two women that are married to men I know cheated on them but they still don't know...

Something I've always done is walk women to their car or to their door of their home. I also like to know when someone gets home safe with a call or a text. Still to this day at girl's night I walk everyone out to their cars as they leave for the night. At first I thought by taking the time to walk each woman safely to their car would make Angela feel less special. However the opposite effect happened. She was proud to have such a caring husband that she could show off.

This idea that being a gentleman and flirting being the same thing comes from being raised around guys. To many men even talking to a woman without looking at their breasts is hard work. People think "I'm not like that so therefore everyone else must not be like that also." I respect women a lot and I'm in no way discrediting them for not realizing the extent of guys' creepiness. I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't been born a guy and seen unfiltered guy talk for myself. WOMEN WHAT YOU SEE FROM MEN IS FILTERED! The second your back is turned and they are with other guys they start talking about things they would never say if a women is within 100 yards. I'm surprised every day because I think most guys are creeps and there for women are going to assume I'm a creep. But no, and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to be a gentleman.

Update: While I'm writing this Guy 1. "I'd bang her... then you can bang her... oh heck you can bang her and then I'll bang her right after" Guy 2. "OK, yeah she's hot!" Talking about a woman that's not either of their wives... 

Friday, April 3, 2015

Fast Kite Sandwiches.

Angela and I are excited to go to the beach to fly our pirate ship kite today after work. Flying a kite just seems like the perfect way to start off our Easter weekend. When we were at Costco we decided against the air plane and dragon kites. I mean when else are we going to see a pirate ship fly around? This is not something that we in good conscience could deny ourselves given the opportunity.
Last night Angela and I had our first D-Box experience at Muvico. We saw Fast 7 and I have to say if you're going to D-Box it up at a movie I recommend this one. I don't know if D-box is the "Multi-Sensory Revolution" they claim it to be but we sure had a good time and the movie and chairs were very fun. We also watched RiffTrax Twilight with Angela's sister which I highly recommend checking out.

Angela and I try to stay healthy. Sometimes I even pick out random vegetables at the store and blend them together. This week we have things for BLT's and they are amazing! It's hard to resist having BLT's for dinner every day of the week. I would name that week BLT week and it would be the best week of the year. Can you tell I'm hungry for one even now?

Last thing on my mind for today is my smart phone. I've had it for a couple months now and I have to tell you guys my Samsung Galaxy Note 4 is amazing! It's my first smart phone so I'm a little behind on things still. I remember when no one had smart phones and this was all farmland as far the eye could see. Old man Peabody owned all of this. He had this crazy idea about breeding pine trees... I'm playing bejeweled blitz on my phone now. I know that's an old game but it's new to me. If anyone has suggestions on apps for me to install let me know. :)