There isn't "the one" in the world.

Happy Halloween!
Recently I've come across people that don't believe in one "ideal" partner. (Spooky right?) What I mean to say is people that don't believe there is "the one" in the world. These people believe that love is something that is cultivated and you can learn to love anyone. They say they can meet a handful of "ideal" candidates that meet "ideal" unnamed conditions and then, boom! They could spend the rest of their life as long as they both choose to put effort in. This is not only false but dangerous!

Maybe these people know they are being pessimistic... maybe they think they are realistic.. maybe they think it's all just a game we play until we find more of ourselves in the people they look for, I DON'T KNOW. But I think we can agree on if every time your partner said "I love you" they said instead "I could learn to love you... probably" you would understandable run. When dating someone who thinks they could create love with anyone you should question how strong willed they are, how passionate they are, or how flighty they could be...

As for me I think there are always "ideal candidates" But out of those there is always one that is the most ideal. If both of you don't believe you have found the most ideal person there will always be (no matter how loyal) at least some part of one of you looking around for better. You BOTH deserve to feel special and loved! Especially by your partner! Otherwise what is the point of exclusivity.

Life is magical. Anyone that tells you differently walk away; you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I found THE ONE! And I have never been happier. People always tell me "Marriage is hard work" both Angela and I agree that we don't feel this way. It is said "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." I say "Choose a spouse that you love and you will never have to work a day in your life." 

This post is a message of hope. I love my wife more than anything in the world and I have found my perfect fit. I truly believe that there is love like this out there for everyone. Every day of my life since I met Angela proves that true love does exist in this world. If you haven't already, go out and get your happiness. It's waiting for you.

5 Qualities that Make an Ideal Travel Companion

This last road trip was just Angela and I and I have to say it is not possible for someone to love anyone as much as I love Angela. She is THE PERFECT trip partner. I have a burning passion for my wife. She is everything I could ever dream of and more. But why is she so perfect to be around 24/7? I compiled a list of what I find to be the 5 qualities that make my wife my ideal travel companion.

1.) Reliability
It can be like pulling hair to get commitment out of people and sometimes that commitment means nothing to them. I put this as number one because without it you can't really have a travel companion. I can't tell you how many times I've made plans and people have backed out at the last second. Angela is always down for adventure and I know when we make plans she will be there with me.

2.) Flexibility
While travailing sometimes things do not go as planned.  The quality of bending the plan easily without breaking down is a must. It's OK to be someone that has to plan everything down to the minute but based off of traffic, road closures, or any number of things your travel may not go as planned!!! Open mindedness and ability to roll with the punches is so important! Yes trips can go horribly wrong but sometimes bad experiences can build great friendships.

3.) Fun Loving
One of my many favorite things about Angela is her smile. Everyone has heard the phrase "misery loves company". Well conversely I love the phrase "laughter is contagious". When you lose your keys and are looking for them people can very easily not notice something else they lost earlier. This is because we find what we are focused on. So the good news is if you are with someone like Angela that is always looking for the most fun, you are probably going to find it. The bad news is if you travel with someone that looks for reasons to complain... they will find that too.

4.) Respectful
A travel companion must be polite, considerate, and civil towards people. It is embarrassing when you are with someone and they don't tip at a restaurant. Or disregard decisions we make together. I am so grateful I have someone that isn't always looking for a fight. I've heard way too many stories of bratty argumentative people selfishly fighting tooth and nail to get what they feel entitled to. It shows me a lot of respect that Angela can communicate with me openly.

 

5.) Patience
Life to me is all about the experience and I know I only get so many. Things can take longer than anticipated but regardless Angela can accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry at me. This way she is then able to have good communication and we can validate each other's annoyances; things that could have been bad experiences become fun stories to tell or inside jokes, bringing us even closer.

I realize having a perfect travel companion is subjective based on an individuals personality. I've heard several people say the best person to be with is someone that lets you have space. I personally feel like that would be so lonely. I love my wife so much and I love every second I spend wither her vacationing or otherwise. <3

Colorado Road trip

Life has been hectic! We have embarrassingly let our yard go and we are getting a new roof. We went with a Mist White energy star roof to help with reflect heat right back at that pesky sun! Being a homeowner is harder than I thought it would be. This adulting thing is crazy but worth it. Figuring out all of this stuff with my amazing wife is a better journey than I could have imagined. Irresponsible or not, we still prioritize some time for ourselves.

Okay, so if you have read my last few blog posts you know we have put some mileage on our cars! This time we went to visit our friend Erika at her new job as a zip line instructor in Colorado. We had Friday off so we left Thursday after work. We almost booked a night at the Luxor on our way up because on week nights its only like $80 with resort fees included. Unfortunately, by the time we decided to do it they had no vacancies left.

Seeing Erika is always amazing. She is such an easy going and fun person.  We knew we didn't have very much time with her so we went out to eat and then quickly picked an adventure to set out on.

We found the highest paved road in North America! Mt. Evans is the highest summit of the Chicago Peaks in the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains of North America. At an amazing 14,265′. It is the highest place I have ever been!

When we got about an hour from Breckenridge It started getting beautiful! Angela and I travel a lot and we always agree that where we live is the best. This time however we really started seeing ourselves being able to live there. When we got home I checked on Zillow and... We have expensive taste. Everything we saw there was well over a $1,000,000.

The only negative I can think of from our trip is McDonald's discontinued cherries on their milkshakes! We are so happy that we are able to do all of the amazing stuff we do! I love my wife with all my heart, and with all of me. I hope these adventures never stop!

Crater Lake and Walmart Robbery!

Angela and I took a road trip this last weekend to Crater Lake! It's always and adventure when I'm with my favorite person ever! Magic things like this guy driving this very derpy car happen regularly.

What we didn't think we would witness was Walmart being robbed at 3 a.m.! These people apparently filled their cart full of cloths and ran out of the store as fast as they could. I didn't know that store doors that slide open can also open outward. While we were walking up they slammed though the door as hard as they could and shoved the stuff in their trunk and drove away. We spoke to an employee inside and they said they were the "DUMBEST thieves in the world". Apparently they had worked there before and "everyone knows who they are".

Everything else about the drive was beautiful! This is a photo of Mt. Shasta we took on the way up.  

We both had never been to Crater Lake before and it was definitely worth seeing! As always it was over 2,000 miles of driving in one weekend. Think how far we would go if we had a whole week off!

Let’s face it, laying poolside for a week might be fun but it doesn’t exactly do wonders for the soul.  Sometimes you just need to pack up and escape! I mean, Britney Spears in that one movie discovered she’s a pretty good performer on a road trip... so anything can happen!? 

And not to mention the places you get to see just by driving far away from any airport is so worth it! Angela and I invested in a dash cam. With as much driving as we do, we see a lot of people doing very dangerous things on the road. When I record something exciting I'll be sure to post it here on my blog.

Disney Skyline Lounge

As all of you know that keep up with this blog Angela and I love Disney. Yesterday we got to do something truly special. We have annual passes and its always so nice to just wonder around with no sense of urgency and just soak in the atmosphere. People watching can be so relaxing when everyone around you is so happy.

That being said sometimes it can get very busy and you just need to take a step back. This is where the Skyline Lounge comes in. It was the perfect experience for people like Angela and I. We are introverts that envy those of you that are extroverts.

We arrived at the Tomorrowland Expo Center (Previously The Innoventions Center) at 7:45 Just as they tell you to on Disney's website. The told us that we needed to check in at the events stand next to the flying souser food stand.

When they let us up it was more like 8:10 P.M

Grand canyon girls trip

Angela and I had the wonderful opportunity to take our good friends Afra and Erika on a road trip. While traveling by airplane is nice, the perks of a road trip far outweigh the perks of air travel. When you are on the open road, spontaneity seems to be your guide. Afra had never been to the Grand Canyon before so that was ultimately the destination but when you are on the road you can't just go to one place and call it good.

Some people say, "Oh I wish I could go on road trips but I work during the week." Well, we do too! All of these trips we take are weekend trips that only last a couple days. It is not uncommon for us to travel over 2,000 miles in one weekend. Obviously this is not for people that can't palate sitting in a car for most of their trip, but we love it!

Our first stop was The Grand Canyon. We arrived at night in time for some night photography.

We had fun finding good spots and taking some photos of each other with the stars behind us. We were so tired that we slept right there on the edge of the Grand Canyon and continued our journey after we snapped some photos of the Canyon in morning light. 

One of the many fun things about taking Erika on a road trip is she has a kick butt 90's pop play list!!! S Club, Britney, NSYNC, you name it! It's so fun to sing along (at the top of your longs) with the hits of yesterday. I can't even express how fun building ridiculous memory's with people that don't judge can be. I am so thankful for the friends I have!

Horseshoe bend

Erika at the Las Vegas Taco Bell

Angela Deserves Better Than Me

It's no secret that I love my wife. She's beautiful in every conceivable way, but more than that she complements me perfectly. We are of one mind and one heart. We have the same pet peeves and the same things that make us happy. The longer I live the rarer I realize these things are.

Angela deserves better than me. No, I'm not trying to put myself down here; quite the opposite. Me acknowledging this fact is why I will not stop becoming better every day.  We have all heard the breakup line "it's not you it's me" well there is no way it's going to be Angela and I refuse for it to be me. To reference Ingrid Michaelson, she takes me the way i am. I feel this is as romantic as it is an integral part of a healthy relationship. I am no coward and I will do anything to avoid my wife waking up one day and realizing she settled.

I don't have to have my guard up with Angela. I never have to say "you have to take my feelings into consideration" we both just do this organically. I feel so comfortable with her but I also realize that taking her for granted would be the worst mistake of my life. I will not back down from progressing myself to a standard  I can be proud of providing the love of my life.

When I look at Angela I see the same woman that I chased after, the same woman I knew I needed for the rest of my life, and the same woman that pushes me to be more every day. This is the reason we have great jobs, own our own home in an expensive neighborhood, and have great friends that we love. I just wanted to write another blog post to thank my wife for being the anchor in my life. If I could go back in time and choose anyone on this planet to be with, you still would be number one on my list. There is no one else that can do what you do. You are uniquely perfect for me. I love you more than words. 

Brainwashed And Controlled

I pose this question: why is it much easier to hear "stay on the right path or you may fall" then it is to hear "you have fallen off the path please get back on"? Most of what you see online is helping victims of abuse recognize and avoid abuse. But everyone should read and reflect because  you could unknowingly be the abuser. Some may not realize they're being the aggressor because unfairly life is often happier for those that use and abuse others.

When you hear the term "brainwashed" you may associate it with being in some sci-fi movie about aliens or at the very least being overly dramatic. But it happens every day to people like you and me.  People need a purpose, they want to feel special, but most of all we want to feel in control. Angela and I are no different. However control is the biggest lie this world has. Things are often not as they seem. A man in a business suit seemingly presentable and harmless can be much more dangerous than a poorly dressed man you may have walked out of your way to avoid.

For example: people that have been in cults their whole lives often look at other people in cults and think  "Wow, I would never be that stupid." Meanwhile those members in the other cult are looking back thinking the same thing about them. The fact is it's not about being stupid.  If you have ever seen the movie Speed with good ol' Keanu, their tactical unit uses the phrase "Crazy not stupid." That phrase has always stuck with me because the most intelligent and/or charismatic people often come up with the best lies. On the flip side, that lie can sound so good that the most humble and sincere people will often not only go along with it, but seemingly prove that lie as truth to more unsuspecting people. After all, everyone falls for pathos.

Another one of my favorite quotes is "I was starting to believe the reason it matters to care passionately about something, is that it whittles the world down to a more manageable size." -Susan Orlean from Magnolia. Controlling people will tell you that you can get confused and miserable easily and you need to stick to the "right path". Conveniently their path is always the "right" one. Ironically it's only after I stopped limiting myself with fear of losing my way that I truly found it. The truth I've now found is passion can fuel the ever expanding limitless understanding of this beautiful world. 

A main problem is controlling people are often times being controlled themselves. The best way to sell a lie is to believe it yourself. Ideas can be a cancer and you may very well be the one perpetuating it, I know now that I subconsciously have. If you start to notice peoples cute small requests start becoming bigger, or if you start feeling nagged or feel abuse each time you try to decline a request, chances are, you’re playing helplessly into the hands of manipulation. Unfortunately the longer you are in it the more it becomes "natural" like a frog in a pot of water that is slowly heating to a boil.

Have you ever heard "you can do whatever you want BUT you have to accept the consequences? This is true but the problem is most of the time when someone says this that person has decided what deserves consequences.

Hopefully at this point you are asking "Well then how can I be myself and not fall into these traps?  After all if I'm being brainwashed obviously common sense isn't working for me." Reading this is a good start. The best way to not be controlled is to educate yourself on the tools people use to control you. Common sense only becomes common when things you learn become second nature. Look up things like gaslighting, shifting sands, making unfair demands, or ways people could be making you feel guilty.

Bottom line is bad things can sound good. No one wants so believe they can be brainwashed. It's scary to think possibly something or everything you have built your life around could be lies. But there are such things as Stockholm syndrome, Complex post-traumatic stress disorder, indoctrination, and other things that happen all the time to people smarter than you or me. So whether its family, friends, or an organization, please stay vigilant in this fight. And be especially cautious of people that would say "where will you go? What will you do?" you are not trapped!  

 

Don't Marry for Love

Guest Post by Angela-

As I was blow drying my hair this morning, as a lot of introspection normally starts of course, I was thinking to myself, "How did I get so lucky? With all the people that I've dated, how come I ended up with the best person possible?" So many people fall in love with someone and then their marriage ends up being so much worse than anyone could have ever imagined. Sometimes, it's not that either person is a "bad person" it's just that these two people don't work well together.

I started thinking about all my friends and family who are not married and what advice I would want to give them in looking for a partner. Please realize, I know I'm not some all knowing wise old sage but this is the conclusion that I've come to as to why my relationship is so successful.

Don't marry for love. I know if you are anything like me this seems counter-intuitive. I have had the idea that “if you try hard enough you can make any marriage work” Beaten into me. I would like to take this opportunity to beat the opposite into as many people as I can. Even though most romantic comedy, princess stories would tell you otherwise; if you give 100% of yourself  and your partner gives 0% that’s still only 50% of a relationship.

I think these stories have been so romanticized that people think that love is the most important aspect in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, love is very important. It's just so easy to love someone who is bad for you or to you. I've done it. Plenty of times. I think anyone who has been in a few relationships would agree that it's easy to love the wrong person. I've dated some pretty terrible people, some who were legitimately abusive. It's so easy to justify someone's bad qualities when you love them.

This is why I would say I didn't marry just for love. I also married someone who is my other half, my best friend. We have a lot of shared interests. I am happy to spend every moment of every day together. Every night is like a sleep over. If something is bothering me, I don't vent to some other friend for validation, I tell my best friend aka my spouse. We understand each other completely and have great communication. We aren't perfect but if there's anything at all we talk to each other and work it out. To me, this is so much more important than love alone. It's easy to love the wrong person. Find someone you love, but make sure they are also your best friend.

Hopeless Romantic

I am in love with love. And yes I can't stop believing in fairy tales. I am an idealist, a sentimental dreamer, and imaginative fanciful person. Simply put love is an art form. And NO! I'm not taking these rose colored glasses off any time soon.

I've often looked at all the jaded people and worried that I would become one of them. After all I have had my moments of losing faith in mankind. However as soon as I see something slightly romantic I snap back like Doug in the movie UP seeing a squirrel. I just love to dream. To me there is nothing better in this life than to be romanced with sweet simple things and thoughtful amazing surprises.

As many of you know by my blog I believe in passion, chivalry, and true love. What makes a Hopeless romantic "Hopeless" is the fact that we are few and far between but I guess "Not very likely romantic" doesn't have the same ring to it.

Love is what drives me day to day. The thought of having more meaningful connections with the people I care about most in life is what gets me up in the morning. I fall in love with love more every day.

I have friends that get hurt by love every day. I try not to be the person that allows feelings of love to override my common sense. That being said being a realest may help us not get hurt but I would not triad it for the cynicism that comes with embracing an imperfect world.

You may say I prefer not to live in reality, I say perception IS an individual's reality. I may seem unsettling or borderline crazy to non-romantics. However I continue to write these blogs so my fellows will embrace the romantic inside of you. I'm sure if you open up these gestures will be adored, granted they are obscenely quixotic. Just knowing that someone is thinking of me makes me smile, and holding my hand makes me feel like I can fly. Love is magic. <3

Zip Line and Sink Her

I surprised Angela with a romantic getaway to Catalina Island this past weekend. I love Angela so much and it’s amazing how much fun we have together! It’s important to keep as stress-free as possible so we needed a perfect romantic getaway.

The most important thing in my life is the connection I share with Angela.  As always, the bond between us gets stronger as we spend more time together.  We all need relaxed time away from the pressure of our daily responsibilities. When we boarded the Catalina express it was like boarding a ship away from life’s hassles. 

When we arrived on the island Friday night it was raining and we hustled to our tent cabin to lie down. We could hear the rain loudly on the tents large tarp roof. We felt so relaxed and were able to lower our inhibitions and connect like never before. Everything was perfect.  We felt we were one with nature and as our love intensified, like magic so did the rain. We live in a fairy tale. 

The rain cleared up for the rest of the trip and when we awoke the following morning we lazily walked around one of the cutest cities in the world. If you have never been to Catalina Island they use golf carts as cars and everyone is very nice. They have cute little shops everywhere and we took our time exploring. When we got breakfast I told Angela about our plans for a zip line adventure that I had planned in the evening!

Stepping off each precipice to zip line over the lush green island from over 600ft was romantic and exhilarating. We zip lined for over 2 hours and the whole time we could see the sunset over the ocean. Near the end we got to experience night zip lining! After zip lining we went to the arcade and ate BBQ chicken pizza. Needless to say the whole trip made us feel quite elated.

After staying in our cute little tent Saturday night we decided to leave the island and come back home for a nice nap in our own bed. Definitely one of the best valentine’s weekends I’ve ever had! And last valentine’s day we did this!