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Friday, March 1, 2019

TRIGGERED part I



Being triggered is much more than people getting offended. Every stimulation triggers a response. Have you ever heard of a knee-jerk reaction? The muscle contracts, the leg kicks, and the brain never gets involved.

When I open my mouth you can know I've thought long and hard about what I'm going to say. I've tried to find every angle that you may misinterpret or be triggered by. Talking to someone is one big Rorschach test of words. Every word I hold up I have to figure out what you personally are going to perceive that word to mean. In a world where words are defined by common usage it's as important to know your audience as it is to know what you are talking about. I try to be logical, factual,and tactful but I have one flaw that gets me every time.


One of my pet pees in cinema is when they start a movie or show with something that happens in the middle or the end as a way to make the audience wonder how the characters will get there. I just wanted you to know the irony of what I'm about to tell you about myself. Talking to me is like watching the movie Memento. It's a movie that blew peoples minds back in 2000 when it started at the end and made it's way to the beginning. So often I will start with my last thought and then explain how I got there.
 
People do not lesson to everything I say, in fact not even close! I find I have a good 10 sec at most to get any point I need to make across. Given that, here is an example: I will say "You can forget you know something..." and someone will interrupt and say "If you forget something you don't know it anymore by definition" and I will have to start over and say " A fun thing happens when you learn an instrument. You could know how to play 100 songs but you can forget that you know one of them until someone mentions something that triggers every note and every word to come flooding back to you. That same song that you forgot that you knew now you could possibly play it flawlessly. I worded that exactly the way I meant it. I could have said "If you forget something you can remember it" But that would not have been exactly what I meant by the long thought possess that got me here." *Deep breath*




Our brains learn by electrical impulses that are forced though the path of least resistance. I find the the trick to thinking is to make the path that we want our thoughts to go easy.  Being triggered simply opens the flood gates of information we have stored and it WILL go to ANY path you have open.

Every word I say has a pathway and every pathway has an emotion connected to it. If I say "cheesecake" that may get you to remember that one time at a party you ate cheesecake for the first time and Mmmmmm you just loved it! Or maybe you could be completely indifferent about cheesecake and it's just a dessert that you like the same as apple pie. BUT for the rare person cheesecake might remind you of the last thing you ate with a loved one right before they died. The emotion tied to it might be so intense that you don't want to think of cheesecake right now, and THAT IS OKAY. Sorry I mentioned it! <3 


What is not reasonable is if you yell at someone for bringing cheesecake to your birthday party because "THEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!" All things have weaker and stronger emotions tied to them and that is a very personal (and in my opinion beautiful) experience of living. You have to have a lot of self reflection and keep those things that induce stronger feelings in check because sometimes the easiest thing to think about is also the hardest.


Stay tuned for next week when I release part II on victimization! :)



Tuesday, October 31, 2017

There isn't "the one" in the world.



Happy Halloween!
Recently I've come across people that don't believe in one "ideal" partner. (Spooky right?) What I mean to say is people that don't believe there is "the one" in the world. These people believe that love is something that is cultivated and you can learn to love anyone. They say they can meet a handful of "ideal" candidates that meet "ideal" unnamed conditions and then, boom! They could spend the rest of their life as long as they both choose to put effort in. This is not only false but dangerous!

Maybe these people know they are being pessimistic... maybe they think they are realistic.. maybe they think it's all just a game we play until we find more of ourselves in the people they look for, I DON'T KNOW. But I think we can agree on if every time your partner said "I love you" they said instead "I could learn to love you... probably" you would understandable run. When dating someone who thinks they could create love with anyone you should question how strong willed they are, how passionate they are, or how flighty they could be...

As for me I think there are always "ideal candidates" But out of those there is always one that is the most ideal. If both of you don't believe you have found the most ideal person there will always be (no matter how loyal) at least some part of one of you looking around for better. You BOTH deserve to feel special and loved! Especially by your partner! Otherwise what is the point of exclusivity.



Life is magical. Anyone that tells you differently walk away; you don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I found THE ONE! And I have never been happier. People always tell me "Marriage is hard work" both Angela and I agree that we don't feel this way. It is said "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." I say "Choose a spouse that you love and you will never have to work a day in your life." 

This post is a message of hope. I love my wife more than anything in the world and I have found my perfect fit. I truly believe that there is love like this out there for everyone. Every day of my life since I met Angela proves that true love does exist in this world. If you haven't already, go out and get your happiness. It's waiting for you.

Monday, July 24, 2017

5 Qualities that Make an Ideal Travel Companion

This last road trip was just Angela and I and I have to say it is not possible for someone to love anyone as much as I love Angela. She is THE PERFECT trip partner. I have a burning passion for my wife. She is everything I could ever dream of and more. But why is she so perfect to be around 24/7? I compiled a list of what I find to be the 5 qualities that make my wife my ideal travel companion.

1.) Reliability
It can be like pulling hair to get commitment out of people and sometimes that commitment means nothing to them. I put this as number one because without it you can't really have a travel companion. I can't tell you how many times I've made plans and people have backed out at the last second. Angela is always down for adventure and I know when we make plans she will be there with me.

2.) Flexibility
While travailing sometimes things do not go as planned.  The quality of bending the plan easily without breaking down is a must. It's OK to be someone that has to plan everything down to the minute but based off of traffic, road closures, or any number of things your travel may not go as planned!!! Open mindedness and ability to roll with the punches is so important! Yes trips can go horribly wrong but sometimes bad experiences can build great friendships.



3.) Fun Loving
One of my many favorite things about Angela is her smile. Everyone has heard the phrase "misery loves company". Well conversely I love the phrase "laughter is contagious". When you lose your keys and are looking for them people can very easily not notice something else they lost earlier. This is because we find what we are focused on. So the good news is if you are with someone like Angela that is always looking for the most fun, you are probably going to find it. The bad news is if you travel with someone that looks for reasons to complain... they will find that too.

4.) Respectful
A travel companion must be polite, considerate, and civil towards people. It is embarrassing when you are with someone and they don't tip at a restaurant. Or disregard decisions we make together. I am so grateful I have someone that isn't always looking for a fight. I've heard way too many stories of bratty argumentative people selfishly fighting tooth and nail to get what they feel entitled to. It shows me a lot of respect that Angela can communicate with me openly.

 

5.) Patience
Life to me is all about the experience and I know I only get so many. Things can take longer than anticipated but regardless Angela can accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry at me. This way she is then able to have good communication and we can validate each other's annoyances; things that could have been bad experiences become fun stories to tell or inside jokes, bringing us even closer.


I realize having a perfect travel companion is subjective based on an individuals personality. I've heard several people say the best person to be with is someone that lets you have space. I personally feel like that would be so lonely. I love my wife so much and I love every second I spend wither her vacationing or otherwise. <3

Monday, July 10, 2017

Colorado Road trip


Life has been hectic! We have embarrassingly let our yard go and we are getting a new roof. We went with a Mist White energy star roof to help with reflect heat right back at that pesky sun! Being a homeowner is harder than I thought it would be. This adulting thing is crazy but worth it. Figuring out all of this stuff with my amazing wife is a better journey than I could have imagined. Irresponsible or not, we still prioritize some time for ourselves.


Okay, so if you have read my last few blog posts you know we have put some mileage on our cars! This time we went to visit our friend Erika at her new job as a zip line instructor in Colorado. We had Friday off so we left Thursday after work. We almost booked a night at the Luxor on our way up because on week nights its only like $80 with resort fees included. Unfortunately, by the time we decided to do it they had no vacancies left.

Seeing Erika is always amazing. She is such an easy going and fun person.  We knew we didn't have very much time with her so we went out to eat and then quickly picked an adventure to set out on.

We found the highest paved road in North America! Mt. Evans is the highest summit of the Chicago Peaks in the Front Range of the Rocky Mountains of North America. At an amazing 14,265′. It is the highest place I have ever been!

When we got about an hour from Breckenridge It started getting beautiful! Angela and I travel a lot and we always agree that where we live is the best. This time however we really started seeing ourselves being able to live there. When we got home I checked on Zillow and... We have expensive taste. Everything we saw there was well over a $1,000,000.

The only negative I can think of from our trip is McDonald's discontinued cherries on their milkshakes! We are so happy that we are able to do all of the amazing stuff we do! I love my wife with all my heart, and with all of me. I hope these adventures never stop!











Monday, July 3, 2017

Crater Lake and Walmart Robbery!



Angela and I took a road trip this last weekend to Crater Lake! It's always and adventure when I'm with my favorite person ever! Magic things like this guy driving this very derpy car happen regularly.

What we didn't think we would witness was Walmart being robbed at 3 a.m.! These people apparently filled their cart full of cloths and ran out of the store as fast as they could. I didn't know that store doors that slide open can also open outward. While we were walking up they slammed though the door as hard as they could and shoved the stuff in their trunk and drove away. We spoke to an employee inside and they said they were the "DUMBEST thieves in the world". Apparently they had worked there before and "everyone knows who they are".

Everything else about the drive was beautiful! This is a photo of Mt. Shasta we took on the way up.  

We both had never been to Crater Lake before and it was definitely worth seeing! As always it was over 2,000 miles of driving in one weekend. Think how far we would go if we had a whole week off!


Let’s face it, laying poolside for a week might be fun but it doesn’t exactly do wonders for the soul.  Sometimes you just need to pack up and escape! I mean, Britney Spears in that one movie discovered she’s a pretty good performer on a road trip... so anything can happen!? 


And not to mention the places you get to see just by driving far away from any airport is so worth it! Angela and I invested in a dash cam. With as much driving as we do, we see a lot of people doing very dangerous things on the road. When I record something exciting I'll be sure to post it here on my blog.





Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Disney Skyline Lounge



As all of you know that keep up with this blog Angela and I love Disney. Yesterday we got to do something truly special. We have annual passes and its always so nice to just wonder around with no sense of urgency and just soak in the atmosphere. People watching can be so relaxing when everyone around you is so happy.


That being said sometimes it can get very busy and you just need to take a step back. This is where the Skyline Lounge comes in. It was the perfect experience for people like Angela and I. We are introverts that envy those of you that are extroverts.


We arrived at the Tomorrowland Expo Center (Previously The Innoventions Center) at 7:45 Just as they tell you to on Disney's website. The told us that we needed to check in at the events stand next to the flying souser food stand.





When they let us up it was more like 8:10 P.M

Friday, May 12, 2017

Grand canyon girls trip

Angela and I had the wonderful opportunity to take our good friends Afra and Erika on a road trip. While traveling by airplane is nice, the perks of a road trip far outweigh the perks of air travel. When you are on the open road, spontaneity seems to be your guide. Afra had never been to the Grand Canyon before so that was ultimately the destination but when you are on the road you can't just go to one place and call it good.

Some people say, "Oh I wish I could go on road trips but I work during the week." Well, we do too! All of these trips we take are weekend trips that only last a couple days. It is not uncommon for us to travel over 2,000 miles in one weekend. Obviously this is not for people that can't palate sitting in a car for most of their trip, but we love it!


Our first stop was The Grand Canyon. We arrived at night in time for some night photography.


We had fun finding good spots and taking some photos of each other with the stars behind us. We were so tired that we slept right there on the edge of the Grand Canyon and continued our journey after we snapped some photos of the Canyon in morning light. 


One of the many fun things about taking Erika on a road trip is she has a kick butt 90's pop play list!!! S Club, Britney, NSYNC, you name it! It's so fun to sing along (at the top of your longs) with the hits of yesterday. I can't even express how fun building ridiculous memory's with people that don't judge can be. I am so thankful for the friends I have!



Horseshoe bend

Erika at the Las Vegas Taco Bell