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Thursday, May 11, 2023

The Dangerous Pitfalls of Misguided Marriage Advice

Don't overthink the platitudes you use, and feel free to follow them strictly. Here are some that will help you live your best life. (Don't actually do these things)

 "A happy wife means a happy life" - The key to a happy marriage is making sure your wife is happy. Just remember to always put her needs first, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness and well-being.

 "A good marriage is like a fairy tale" - A good marriage is just like a fairy tale. Just make sure to marry someone who's equally as unrealistic as a fairy tale character, and you're all set!

"Love means never having to say you're sorry" - That's right, true love means never admitting you're wrong or apologizing for your mistakes. It's the perfect recipe for a long-lasting, toxic relationship. 

"Time heals all wounds" - Who cares about lasting effects of trauma and grief. Unrealistic expectations are the perfect way for people struggling to heal.

 "Marriage is a 50/50 partnership" - Make sure you split everything down the middle, from the household chores to the emotional labor. And don't forget to keep score to make sure it stays perfectly equal.

 "Marriage is all about compromise" - That's right, compromise. Just make sure you're always the one doing the compromising, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness and needs.

"Money can't buy happiness" -  Financial stability and security are not important, and dismissing the role of money in our lives can be a great way to relieve stress.

 "Marriage is about finding your other half" - That's right, you're only half a person until you find your soulmate. So make sure to look for someone who completes you, codependency is romantic!

"Marriage is about finding your better half" - That's right, your partner should always be better than you in every way. Make sure to constantly compare yourself to them and feel inadequate.

"Opposites attract" - It's true what they say, opposites do attract. So make sure to get a partner with opposite qualities where you have nothing in common like their lack of hygiene and love for reality TV!" 

"The early bird catches the worm" - It's a known fact that people never function better at different times of the day, what better way to live your life than in a culture of competition and pressure to conform.

"Love conquers all" - When faced with a difficult problem, remind your partner that your love is strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Make sure if they can't figure it out to let them know how much they have failed to love you.

"Communication is key" -  You should communicate everything to your partner, no matter how trivial or insignificant. Make sure to constantly check in with them, even if they're clearly busy or uninterested. After all, if you're not communicating every thought and feeling, you're not truly in a relationship.

"A happy marriage takes work" -  Work tirelessly to keep your marriage afloat. Never take a break, never relax, never let your guard down. If you're not constantly working on your relationship, it's sure to fall apart. So make sure to dedicate all your time and energy to keeping your spouse happy, even if it means sacrificing your own needs and wants. 

"Give it time" - That's right, if your marriage is going through a rough patch, just sit back and wait for things to magically get better. Don't bother trying to address the underlying issues or work on improving your communication, just have blind faith that time will fix everything. After all, it's not like relationships require effort or anything. Just wait it out and hope for the best!

"Everything happens for a reason" - Every tragedy, heartbreak, and setback in your life has a specific purpose that will eventually reveal itself. Grief is a complex emotion that is unique to each individual but  telling the person that their grief is unwarranted and that they should just accept what has happened is a great way to cover every complicity with one simple phrase!

 "Forgive and forget" -  The best way to deal with conflict in marriage is to just sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. Don't bother working through your feelings or trying to understand your partner's perspective, just forgive them and move on as quickly as possible. After all, holding onto resentment and seeking true resolution is overrated. It's much easier to just put on a fake smile and pretend everything's fine, even if it's not.

"Marriage is about making sacrifices" - The key to a successful marriage is sacrificing your own wants and needs to make your partner happy. Who needs personal autonomy or individuality when you have a spouse to prioritize above all else? Whether it's giving up your dream career, hobbies, or friendships, remember that your marriage should always come first, even if it means losing a part of yourself in the process. After all, isn't losing your identity just a small price to pay for love?

In conclusion, it's important to be cautious about the marriage advice we follow. Platitudes like these can lead us down a dangerous path of unrealistic expectations and unhealthy habits. Instead, let's prioritize open communication, mutual respect, and individual growth within our marriages. Remember, a happy and healthy marriage takes effort and compromise from both partners, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. So let's steer clear of these misguided platitudes and create our own unique, fulfilling, and sustainable path to happiness.

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