Did you know that you can use logical fallacies to sidestep problems in your marriage? It's true! Here are 31 flavors of logical fallacies that will save your marriage (or not):
- Ad Hominem -
This fallacy is perfect for when you want to attack your partner's
character instead of dealing with the issue at hand. Did they forget to
take out the trash again? Instead of calmly discussing it, attack their
character by calling them lazy and irresponsible. That'll solve the
problem, right?
- Straw Man - If
your partner brings up an issue that you don't want to deal with, simply
misrepresent their argument and attack that instead. For example, if they
say they want more quality time together, you can pretend they said they
hate all your hobbies and want you to give them up completely. That'll
show them!
- Slippery Slope
- This fallacy is perfect for when you want to convince your partner that
one small issue will inevitably lead to a catastrophic outcome. If they
want to go out with friends one night, just tell them that if they do,
they'll end up neglecting you and the kids, losing their job, and
eventually ending up homeless. That'll make them think twice!
- Appeal to
Emotion - Instead of using reason and logic, appeal to your partner's
emotions to get what you want. If you want them to buy you a fancy new
gadget, tell them that it'll make you feel loved and appreciated. That'll
guilt-trip them into buying it for you!
- False Dilemma -
This fallacy is perfect for when you want to limit your partner's options
and force them to choose between two bad options. For example, if they
want to go on a weekend trip with their friends, you can tell them that
they either go on the trip and risk ruining your marriage, or they stay
home and prove that they don't care about their friends. That'll make them
feel trapped and powerless!
- The fallacy of
ad antiquitatem - This is when someone argues that something is true or
good simply because it has been around for a long time. For example: want
you wife to do all the housework? Just remind her traditional gender roles
are better than modern ones, because they have been in place for
centuries!
- Fallacy of
composition - Assume that what is true for one person is true for
everyone. For example, if your friend's husband is always doing the
dishes, tell your own partner that "all good husbands" do the
dishes. This will put pressure on them to conform to your standards, even
if it's not something they're comfortable with.
- False cause -
Blame your partner for things that are completely out of their control.
For example, if it starts raining on your picnic, tell your partner that
it's all their fault for not checking the weather beforehand. This will
help you avoid taking responsibility for your own mistakes and shift the
blame onto them.
- Red Herring -
When your partner brings up an uncomfortable topic, distract them by
changing the subject to something completely unrelated. For example, if
they mention that you've been spending too much money, start talking about
your favorite TV show instead. Crisis averted!
- Tu Quoque -
This fallacy is perfect for when your partner accuses you of something,
but you don't want to take responsibility. Simply turn the tables on them
by pointing out a similar behavior of theirs! For example, if they say you
spend too much time on your phone, remind them that they do the same
thing.
- Appeal to
Tradition - If your partner suggests trying something new, remind them
that you've always done things a certain way and that tradition is
important. Who needs progress and innovation when you can stick to what
you know?
- Begging the
Question - If your partner questions your argument, simply repeat your
original statement as if it's already been proven. For example, if they
ask why you think you're always right, just say, "Because I am,
obviously."
- Loaded Question
- Ask your partner a question that assumes a certain answer, and then use
their answer to prove your point. For example, ask, "Do you think
it's fair for me to have to do all the chores around here?" If they
say no, you can accuse them of being lazy and unwilling to help.
- Hasty
Generalization - If your partner does something you don't like once,
assume they'll do it every time. For example, if they forget to call you
on their lunch break, assume they don't care about you at all and are
never thinking about you.
- Non Sequitur - During an argument make a statement that seems to support your position but is irrelevant to the issue at hand. For example, "I always do the dishes, so you can't complain about me not taking out the trash."