ga('require', 'displayfeatures');

Thursday, April 27, 2023

Marriage Problems? No Worries! Just Use These Logical Fallacies to Avoid Them

Did you know that you can use logical fallacies to sidestep problems in your marriage? It's true! Here are 31 flavors of logical fallacies that will save your marriage (or not):

  1. Ad Hominem - This fallacy is perfect for when you want to attack your partner's character instead of dealing with the issue at hand. Did they forget to take out the trash again? Instead of calmly discussing it, attack their character by calling them lazy and irresponsible. That'll solve the problem, right?

  2. Straw Man - If your partner brings up an issue that you don't want to deal with, simply misrepresent their argument and attack that instead. For example, if they say they want more quality time together, you can pretend they said they hate all your hobbies and want you to give them up completely. That'll show them!

  3. Slippery Slope - This fallacy is perfect for when you want to convince your partner that one small issue will inevitably lead to a catastrophic outcome. If they want to go out with friends one night, just tell them that if they do, they'll end up neglecting you and the kids, losing their job, and eventually ending up homeless. That'll make them think twice!

  4. Appeal to Emotion - Instead of using reason and logic, appeal to your partner's emotions to get what you want. If you want them to buy you a fancy new gadget, tell them that it'll make you feel loved and appreciated. That'll guilt-trip them into buying it for you!

  5. False Dilemma - This fallacy is perfect for when you want to limit your partner's options and force them to choose between two bad options. For example, if they want to go on a weekend trip with their friends, you can tell them that they either go on the trip and risk ruining your marriage, or they stay home and prove that they don't care about their friends. That'll make them feel trapped and powerless!

  6. The fallacy of ad antiquitatem - This is when someone argues that something is true or good simply because it has been around for a long time. For example: want you wife to do all the housework? Just remind her traditional gender roles are better than modern ones, because they have been in place for centuries!

  7. Fallacy of composition - Assume that what is true for one person is true for everyone. For example, if your friend's husband is always doing the dishes, tell your own partner that "all good husbands" do the dishes. This will put pressure on them to conform to your standards, even if it's not something they're comfortable with.

  8. False cause - Blame your partner for things that are completely out of their control. For example, if it starts raining on your picnic, tell your partner that it's all their fault for not checking the weather beforehand. This will help you avoid taking responsibility for your own mistakes and shift the blame onto them.

  9. Red Herring - When your partner brings up an uncomfortable topic, distract them by changing the subject to something completely unrelated. For example, if they mention that you've been spending too much money, start talking about your favorite TV show instead. Crisis averted!

  10. Tu Quoque - This fallacy is perfect for when your partner accuses you of something, but you don't want to take responsibility. Simply turn the tables on them by pointing out a similar behavior of theirs! For example, if they say you spend too much time on your phone, remind them that they do the same thing.

  11. Appeal to Tradition - If your partner suggests trying something new, remind them that you've always done things a certain way and that tradition is important. Who needs progress and innovation when you can stick to what you know?

  12. Begging the Question - If your partner questions your argument, simply repeat your original statement as if it's already been proven. For example, if they ask why you think you're always right, just say, "Because I am, obviously."

  13. Loaded Question - Ask your partner a question that assumes a certain answer, and then use their answer to prove your point. For example, ask, "Do you think it's fair for me to have to do all the chores around here?" If they say no, you can accuse them of being lazy and unwilling to help.

  14. Hasty Generalization - If your partner does something you don't like once, assume they'll do it every time. For example, if they forget to call you on their lunch break, assume they don't care about you at all and are never thinking about you.

  15. Non Sequitur - During an argument make a statement that seems to support your position but is irrelevant to the issue at hand. For example, "I always do the dishes, so you can't complain about me not taking out the trash."