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Tuesday, April 28, 2015

5 Misconceptions About What Being a Good Person Means.

1.) No one can be a good person because everyone is in it for themselves.  

There are people out there that believe everything anyone does is selfish. They take if you have a desire to do something, this desire originates from yourself and therefore you're only doing it to make yourself feel the way you want to feel. The first thing people need to do when defining a word as an absolute principle is quickly check if there is opposite word already in place-- and yes of course there is, selflessness. The fact that this word exists as an opposite in the first place stands to reason there's a pretty good argument against this line of thinking. Look at mothers who give up tons of time, effort, and money in LOVE for another being. Love defies selfishness and I propose any other thinking is a cancerous disease for any relationship.

2.) It's your responsibility to change bad or wrong people.

It's not! People will do and be whatever they want you have no control over this. Some things matter more to others than they do to you and that's okay. It is not your responsibility to change anyone other than yourself, not your spouse, not your kids, not anyone. The faster people realize this the happier they will be. You can work with others to change policy in an organization or boot someone out of power over you. If you are talking to a peer and it's necessary to state your opinion on something be ready to agree to disagree and part your separate ways as unlikely friends. 

3.)You need to live your life entirely for other people.

This type of thinking is the number one killer of good people. You need to play to your strengths sometimes you can't help someone and sometimes its unsafe to try. A lot of times this type of good person will take on to many responsibility's and end up tired or resenting the good deed. Or people will start expecting too much out of this person without praising them. Also a 16 year old girl should not be stopping on the side of a road to help a trucker fix their truck no matter how engine savvy she may be. Some good deeds are better left to other people.

4.) Because you do good this obligates others too also.

Some good people will start to look down on other good people because they would have done a specific good thing if they were in that another person's position.  I see this way too often that people live by a code of things that must be done in order for them to feel good about themselves or keep up a social standard of being "good". Being good can become a source of negative pride. Please don't let this happen to you.

5.) If it feels like its good then it must be.

Have you ever heard the phrase "I meant it at the time"? People's feelings change. This is why commitment is important. You can tell yourself when you have energy "Okay I'm going to run every day this entire week" but when you start to feel sore the next day if commitment doesn't mean anything to you your new goal goes out the window. Also if you don't take note of your commitments it's very easy to say when your mood changes "I know me. I would never want to run". Some people need to put every commitment in their phones so they remember they made them. Moods change, commitments don't.

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