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Saturday, May 30, 2020

cognitive dissonance in relationships

 

Ah, cognitive dissonance in relationships - the age-old conundrum of how our minds can hold two conflicting beliefs at the same time. It's like trying to argue with yourself in a never-ending game of mental gymnastics. And when it comes to matters of the heart, cognitive dissonance can really throw a wrench in things.

Picture this: you're in a relationship with someone who's perfect on paper. They've got the looks, the charm, and the wit to make your heart flutter. But then, one day, they do something that just doesn't sit right with you. Maybe they ghost you for a week, or forget your birthday, or tell you they don't like pizza (the horror!).

Now, you're faced with a dilemma. On one hand, you know this person is great for you in so many ways. But on the other hand, their recent behavior just doesn't jive with the image of them you've built up in your head. So what do you do?

Well, some people might choose to ignore the cognitive dissonance and carry on as if nothing's wrong. They might convince themselves that their partner's flaws aren't a big deal, or that they can change them over time. Others might confront their partner and try to work through the dissonance together, acknowledging the problem and working towards a solution.

But here's the thing: cognitive dissonance can be a slippery slope. If you're constantly trying to rationalize away your partner's bad behavior, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment down the road. And if you're always nitpicking at your partner's flaws, you might miss out on all the amazing things they bring to the table.

So, what's the solution? Well, it's all about balance. Recognize that cognitive dissonance is a natural part of any relationship, but don't let it consume you. Instead, focus on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual respect. And hey, if you're lucky, you might just find your own Angela - someone who challenges you, supports you, and loves you unconditionally, cognitive dissonance and all.

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