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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Honeymoon Phase is Over!

I adore my wife. When I think about being married to Angela I melt. She's just so darn adorable. But how can I be sure this is not just a honeymoon phase? Will this woman give my heart such loving flutters forever? Well I think it took this rainy day of Angela giggling and jumping in puddles to figure it out. Angela and I are like little kids with everything we do. We look at things with wonder and possibility. And this inspires us to be better and happy.

I know people that decide not to care because the more they care the more they get hurt. After all there is a direct correlation with the two. Just because you have seen heartache does not mean you can never do something simple that makes you happy. I do not believe innocence dies; you just lose sight of it. Having hard ships does not overcomplicate your life, giving up does.

There are people that believe that the less you care, feel, know, or experience, the more it keeps you away from sadness (and there for keeps you happy). But then why do these people turn out to be the saddest people I know? They have learned that the closer they get to the fire, the more they get burned so they shield themselves from the light. That's where people get the whole ignorance is bliss thing. They are right you can survive for a while in darkness but it will take its toll. The truth is all this does is numb you. The more anxiety you have the better it feels to be numb. Some people achieve this numbness by way of alcohol or drugs.

That's where Angela found me struggling to decide if feeling anything was worth it. I chose correctly. I care passionately for Angela and that whittles the world down to a more manageable size. But it also gives my life focus like a magnifying glass. I have no anxiety as long as I'm with her. I would say she's my drug but she's so much more helpful than that. She is genuine happiness. Not a distraction, not something to numb the pain, but the real magical joy you hear about in fairy tales.

This is why the "honeymoon phase" will never end for us. Because when Angela asks me why I'm with her I don't say "because I love you". I know our relationship is built on trust, admiration, faithfulness, chemistry, intelligence, a share of hobbies and a clear vision of our future. Angela has become my muse and I will never think about running from the light ever again. I have never been much of a writer. In fact in school that was by far my least favored subject. But now with how wonderful life is with Angela I look forward to putting my thoughts down. She has and continues to change me for the better. And she will always show me where true happiness comes from one puddle at a time.

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