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Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Something I've Wished For

When I was a kid I would often dream of going to japan or a country I perceived to have great honor. I would watch movies where there would seemingly be a sweet harmony in their actions and a set code to live by. I dreamed of a world where actions had a direct equation to self-worth. As I have grown I find I'm lucky to see misplaced or mistaken loyalty before I taste bitter betrayal. I have read in history books of genocides done all in the name of honor. I've always found a deep need for self-evaluation of personal integrity because it seems so easy for people to lose. 
Angela is my queen. I try and watch my wife very carefully to see her reactions to what I do. After that I try to correct my actions were necessary to make her happy. If successful, I write blogs about it using the internet to help me articulate and figure things out further. I change the way I communicate tactfully as an individual, not to an unattainable standard of appeasement.

My loyalty is to my wife and my goal is to make her happy. When I achieve my goal I am happy, it really is that simple.  As I actively work on my goal I try to practice chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. Each of these virtues helps me in my ultimate goal of keeping my wife happy. When she smiles, my success can have no better reward. I spent my night last night scrubbing our bathroom. When I was done I was so tired but I stayed up for Angela to shower so we could cuddle and go to sleep together.

Every day we all have reliance on the character of others. Though their virtues we are able to work together to better ourselves and our society. Every virtue is up to negotiation on the definition of the high moral standard of that virtue. With this open definition its so easy to have one small justification that compromise's our very character. I love my wife so much. I will work every day to try and make my actions have the type of harmony I imagined the world had when I was young. 

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